Laughing Through All the Things Life Throws At You! [Part 2] | Craig Shoemaker

Catch Up with Part 2 with Craig & Jeff!!!

Craig Shoemaker has done it all... toured the country, starred in films, won awards, but most of all he has dealt with his past trauma and turning it into a way to help others! Craig joins Jeff to talk about old road stories and what decades in the comedy business has taught them!

👇 In this episode:
Coming to Terms with 'The Gift of Funny'
Working Through Past Trauma
Helping Others Through Trauma
Forgiving Our Parents

How to find Craig
https://www.craigshoemaker.com/

🎧 More episodes: Who Gave Jeff Allen a Podcast?
🎟️ Tickets at JeffAllenComedy.com

Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:00

She visited California and um she just gets on me all the time and she could literally say you're the worst person ever and nothing would bother me. It doesn't bother me at all. Used to be she put my she presses my buttons because she installed them. I said, All this thing. Nope, not anymore. So she comes out and we I took her to this to see Music Man. Oh, wow. On the big screen from 1962 at the Graumans Chinese Theater. So we get there and she goes, I remember the days you're a big Hollywood star, and you'd send a limo for your mother, but now here I'm standing in line. I have to stand in line. I used to be V I P.

SPEAKER_00 0:54

Hey everybody, this is Jeff Allen. Welcome to Who Gave Jeff Allen a podcast? We are looking for you. We have no idea where you're at, but we're gonna find you and we are gonna punish you. Uh and if not me, the rest of the world for having me on this thing here. Um what else is going on? Real quick, um a Nordic wave cold plunge. Uh we're still looking to sell one. It's been weeks. But uh I just took a cold plunge today. I hit balls, golf balls this morning, got a little stiff and sore, sat in the cold water, got out, and I'm still stiff and sore. Not exactly a rousing uh uh sales pitch, but no, I actually I'm 70 years old for God's sakes. I'm gonna be stiff and sore the rest of my life. Uh but anyway, cold plunge, Nordic wave, go there, Jeff 150, save 150 bucks. Um anyway, to today's guest, I can't wait for this. I've been waiting for this and for a while. Um uh Craig Shoemaker, uh, and uh uh my God, we're peers, man. We started pretty close to much the same time. Today's guest, I'm gonna read this because uh um it's been written and it's better than anything I can come up with off the top of my head. I have very little brain left. Uh, is a stand-up comedy legend. I love that. Don't you know you live long enough you become a legend? Somebody said that? Yeah. It wasn't me. With a career spanning more than 40 years. You probably know him as the Love Master. We'll get into that because I was always curious of uh where that came from. How do you how do you get into that? But Craig's done just about everything stand-up movies, TV, radio, writing, uh, speaking, and somehow uh survived Hollywood with a soul intact. That's that in itself is a major accomplishment. He was named Comedian of the Year at the American Comedy Awards, uh, appeared on the Tonight Show. Uh was it back with Jay or uh with uh Johnny? That's the wrong credit. Uh uh I didn't do that show. You didn't do the tonight show? I don't know where that came from. Oh, wow.

SPEAKER_03 2:52

So good.

SPEAKER_00 2:53

You and I both.

SPEAKER_03 2:54

The late show, but not that show.

SPEAKER_00 2:56

Well, that's great because uh I I've had people come to me after my show and tell me, I I saw you on the tonight show, I absolutely love it. I go, you didn't see me. And they go, no, we did. They they argue with me. I'm telling you, I said, you know what? It's not one of those credits. It's not like I saw you at a at a brothel, right?

SPEAKER_03 3:12

You know, um, you know, and then you want to deny it. Well, it wasn't me. You used to mean something, though. It doesn't even mean much anymore. You can have any credits. I should I think they should put credits on how you became a comedian. Like his father left when he was one day old. His mother belly dances, high school graduation party. It's all true stories.

SPEAKER_00 3:28

Here he is, Craig Schumacher. I mean, that's the stuff that's well then we'll we'll just can this because obviously it's full of crap. Were you on parks and retrograde? Yes, all the rest of the stuff I'm sure is true. Uh Scream 2?

SPEAKER_03 3:39

Yeah. Okay. Played the professor at the film. There's seven now. I I lived and he promised me that I would uh be in more because I was, but he died. West Craven died. Yeah, the director died, yeah. So unbelievable. She's still belly dancing? She doesn't belly dance anymore. She's a little past that. But she does the moves though? She she hula, she she was something else. But she was a divorcee, so all my friends wanted her. She bought us a keg.

SPEAKER_00 4:09

Isn't that funny? For my graduate.

SPEAKER_03 4:13

Yeah. My dad had his own cult. He ended up with a cult of women. He had 14 women, he called us harem. And he ran mule rides in the Pocono Mountains of Pennsylvania. That's what he did. You're serious? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. My dad was quite a character. And talk about the Love Master. One time he was an entrepreneur, which is a French word for scam artists. He always had a new scheme, usually pyramid. He says, Barbara.

SPEAKER_00 4:38

That was the high heyday of the pyramid.

SPEAKER_03 4:40

Oh, yeah, fuller brushes. He started as a full brush man. Then he calls and goes, This is uh strike me to Barbara. If you want your child support check, which he never gave ever once, he brought he dangled a car. Invite your big breasted friends over. I'm selling bras. Yeah, bras meets Amway. Right? So I hadn't seen him in years. And here he is in the living room. Now you got friends. He goes, No flatsies. Now she's got no flatsies. No flatsies. I'm with the big ones.

SPEAKER_00 5:07

He's got friends that weren't invited and they're ticked off. Why was there a cup side?

SPEAKER_03 5:14

So there I'm looking in the living room. I'm like seven years old, and there he is, smoking a pipe with my Aunt Barbara, Aunt Fran, Aunt Dottie. They weren't real aunts, but you know, there they were in bras. He's a turn around, Dottie. Show how it lifts and separates.

SPEAKER_04 5:28

Don't be shy, it's just you women and me.

SPEAKER_03 5:30

This is the three-class model for the full-figured woman. This is only one of his jobs. And then he had up in the mule business. And he had a harem. One of my great moments in stand-up was I went back to the Poconos where he lives, and I was playing Caesars, like a big, you know, big Caesars Poconos. They owned all these hotels and it was a honeymoon. It was like the blue-collar honeymoon capital of the Northeast. Remember they had heart-shaped pools in the room. Oh, yeah. Not a tub, a pool. And big champagne glass jacuzzies 10 feet high. So anyway, the guys give me a tour. Oh, this is such a classic. And I hadn't seen my dad in years. And he has this harem of women. But I knew all about it. I was in the mules with him for a few minutes.

SPEAKER_00 6:13

Those were the uh the bullet bras, like the uh Oh, you're back to the bras.

SPEAKER_03 6:18

I'm onto the mule. I'm onto the mule.

SPEAKER_00 6:20

If you're walking in the in the harem.

SPEAKER_03 6:21

Oh, the harem. No, it wasn't like that kind of harem. It wasn't a chic. He had he had a cowboy hat now. He's a city guy from Philadelphia. All of a sudden, a big belt buckle and a cowboy hat. Mules, giant mules, by the way. He weren't little ponies. He's Rich Jenny, I can curse, you said that, right? Yeah. Remember Rich Jenny? Yeah. I took him there and we're sneaking in late at night, and they had sleeping bags for us. We were doing a tour of the Poconos. And um he he called himself the king of the Poconos. And whoever was the best that day, whether she built the fence the best, wherever, she they got to sleep with him in his room. The king of the Poconos. So that there's an empty sleeping bag, and all the other women around on the floor on sleeping bags, goats and everything. And Rich Jenny, I said This is a movie. I said, Shh, I said, Jenny, you're gonna wake up my father. And he goes, Shoo, shoo, fuck your old man and a mule he rode in on.

unknown 7:15

I'll never forget.

SPEAKER_03 7:16

Then we went on a mule ride. Me, him, and Glenn Farrington went up. He goes, Do you have any burrows that Jesus wrote on? Because these were like 18 hands high, gigantic mules. Oh my god. Yeah. And so I go back, I moved to California. How much money was he making off of that? No, he wasn't making it. It was all went to the him. He was it was his harem. He had a mother-daughter. You know, it was so anyway. Wow.

SPEAKER_00 7:38

Well, actually.

SPEAKER_03 7:39

I play the polkonos and the guys giving me a tour of the room.

SPEAKER_00 7:41

You're probably lucky he didn't raise you.

SPEAKER_03 7:43

Oh, of course I am. One summer I almost almost live with him.

SPEAKER_00 7:47

But then again, you you could have grown that mule business.

SPEAKER_03 7:49

He used to say to me, I'm the king of the Pokonos. You get over that comedy crap, you could be part of my empire. Am I gonna be Prince of the Pocoes? Because these broads have heart. They got no teeth. I require them. So he's so now I do the show. Oh no, first before I do this, guys give me a tour of the place. He goes, with that Shemokan Pennsylvania accent. He goes, and he goes, Over here, Craig, you're from Hollywood, right? Oh, have you ever heard of Koits? We play Koits here. You know what coits are, Craig? Oh, you got your recab ball? You play record ball out there in California. He goes, and he looks up and he goes, Oh my gosh, there's AJ Shoemaker in his harem. What's that nut doing here? And I got to go, that's my dad. Oh my God.

SPEAKER_04 8:28

I hadn't seen him in years. He walks up, he steals my cheese tray, my complimentary cheese tray. Oh, take this to the girls at the ranch. Duty loves Gouda.

SPEAKER_03 8:37

Takes my cheese tray. So then I did my show and it went really well. And he signed autographs afterwards. As I'm signing them, they have the photos ready. He's over here recruiting people for mule rides. He goes, tell them who the real love master is. He's nothing. Sign him up for a mule ride. He's signing people up for the mule ride on a clipboard. Next day, seven in the morning. I never live with the guy. I get a knock on the door. Come on, they're all waiting for you. He signed all these people with a guarantee that I would be on the, and we would tell dad's son's stories that never happened on this mule ride. I had to do one shift, the next shift, the next shift, and go with it.

SPEAKER_04 9:12

There's the comedian. Remember the time with the crabs down the shore?

SPEAKER_03 9:17

That's how he laughed. Yeah, that's my dad. I mean, he's really, he was a uh like just really out there and obviously self-obsessed. Uh and he just, I grew up, both my parents, it's like how'd your mom hook up with him? Hook up, you don't use that word, right? Tell him, you don't use hookup. Well, all right, get together, meet. He was like a handsome guy, and everybody wanted my mom felt like she had a prize with this guy. She had a prize, all right. He uh yeah, he was not not good to her. But she was funny though, when he died a cut two years ago. I I was in charge of his stuff, and I had him buried with a Navy burial. When she actually, when they first got together, he was in the Navy, they were in Hawaii together, and those were kind of good times for her. So, all up until his funeral, he was a bastard. He was horrible to us, Craig. Don't you remember? She he was terrible. He never paid a dime of child support. Your mother, she always talks to third person. Your mother had to raise you on her own back in the secretary's salary. I couldn't believe it. We didn't know where to live. He wouldn't send a dime. So I swear, I couldn't believe. So we get there, and she shows up at the funeral.

SPEAKER_04 10:26

There's only like seven of us.

SPEAKER_03 10:28

And then is it would anybody like to speak? And she gets up. What's she gonna do? I thought she was gonna slam him. She goes, It's her first words out of mouth. Al was a wonderful guy. We're all looking at each other. She's out of her mind. My mom's out of her mind. So so she goes, I remember we lived in Oxdard, California, Port Wynamy, and we had a place there. He was in the Navy. It was amazing times. And she's and she goes on and on, and she didn't say one bad word, all good words. And afterwards I said, Mom, what was that? You were cursing on the way to the funeral. He said, uh and she goes, I'm Irish. We can't say anything bad about the dead. She is such a classic. One time I won this big award. My Love Master movie won the film festival in LA. Big 15,000 people. I'm backstage. I'm going, who am I going to call? Call my mom. I want my mom to be proud of me. And Robin Williams was there, and she loves celebrities. So I said, Robin, I'm going to call my mother back in Philadelphia. Will you talk to her? Oh, the Love Master's mother. Oh, yes, I will. Oh, put her on the phone. Does she have a big one? Anyway. So I said, Oh, great, great, great. I go, ring. Hello. I go, Mom, guess what? I'm standing here with Robin Williams, who's going to talk to you. And my film just won the Independent Film Festival in Los Angeles. Can you believe it? There's this pause. She goes, That's very nice, Craig. You know not to call me during Jeopardy. I gotta go. Who is Aaron Warsaw? Hangs up. And I turn to Robin and go, she hung up on me. He goes, I understand. He understands. This is where we come from. Yeah, it's it's not uh I should I am writing a book. I am writing a book. The stories, but the thing is, I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 12:12

I'll buy it just for the chapter on the harem. I mean, there's so much, there's so much flush that out.

SPEAKER_03 12:18

There's so much it's I have I have a movie.

SPEAKER_00 12:20

I'm telling you, that's a movie.

SPEAKER_03 12:21

Yeah, well, there's a lot there's there's a lot of chapters in this book, and a lot of them have to do with him. And here's the thing. And maybe I'm gonna ask you, I've always had a hard time telling any story about him on a comedy stage, so I've never done it. Anytime I've wandered in there just slightly, they don't believe me. In a theater setting or a special, my special is gonna be one side of the stage, it's called Still Standing Up, is gonna be me doing stand-up, laugh sprinkling, laugh spin. I really know how to do that. Punch on, punch on, punch on. The other side of the stage is the vulnerable with a live microphone, hands free, on set pieces and things that talk about the really deep stuff, the pain that I went through to get to that guy. Yeah, the safe space, which is crazy. The comedy would be a safe space. Or anyone else in the world, if we weren't nuts, it's not a safe space. People are afraid of speaking, speaking in front of people, but that is my space. But over here, and I don't mind being vulnerable, like I even on this show, I don't mind telling these stories, but I've never been able to tell them with the proper proper vehicle. So it's both I I run back and forth to the different settings on the stage. Like a hybrid.

SPEAKER_00 13:25

I I learned to be vulnerable just talking about my alcoholism. And um I I I really did confine it to uh marriage when I got sober. I didn't go deep into my parents or you know when I was writing the book, it was interesting. Um book is different too. Well, when I was writing the book, uh the publisher kept uh pushing me to basically throw my parents under the bus. And I said, I'm not doing it. I'm not writing anything that if they were alive that they would read, and first of all, at least not at least judge it as unfair. Yeah. Now my dad was one of these guys that unfortunately I mean, if I had gone to my father halfway into my recovery and said, I forgive you, he would have said for what? Not very self-aware on uh his role and he called my wife white trash one night. You know, he was drunk and he called her white trash. Well, that he would know it. And then of course my joke to Tammy was, Well, welcome to the family. He only calls people he loves only talks away the people he loves. She goes, not funny. So anyway, I called him up and I said, Um, he also called her another word, but anyway, I called him up and I said, uh, why would you do that? He was late for dinner. So, what do you mean? She said she'd be there at seven. And I go, first of all, she did not say that. He goes, You weren't there. I go, I don't need to be there. I said, one of the things that drives me insane about my wife is she will not commit to a time. What time are you gonna be there? I don't know, Jeff. I went, well, 6 30? I don't know, Jeff. 6 45. She says, give me a ballpark between 6 30 and 7. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Yeah. So anyway, when when my dad said definitively she said she'll be there at 7, I said, I guarantee you, she said she'll try. If you said 7, she said she'll try. And to her that means I'll show up whenever I want. So anyway, um and he said, I said, but why would you call while she was late? And I go, don't you think that was a little excessive? And he says, What are you talking about? I said, Well, why don't you empty you know six slugs in her chest? Well, that'd be excessive. And I go, that's my point. I said, You lost a daughter-in-law for being late for dinner. Uh as far as I'm concerned, she'll have to speak to you the rest of her life. That's on her. If she wants to forgive you, it's on her. Me? You know, you're my dad, I'll forgive you. I don't know, no problem. Yeah. Well, she was late. That's all he kept saying. She was late.

SPEAKER_01 15:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 15:50

She was late. He could not get his head around that his reaction to her. It's it's he justified the reaction. Well, he justified it. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_03 15:59

They talk about in the big book. Yeah. People justify things all rationalize all the time. And to me, to me, that's one of the most important things I got out of being sober is you can find justifications or excuses for anything. Absolutely. But you can also find reasons to grow. And that's my extending grace is to grow. Yes, exactly right.

SPEAKER_00 16:19

And that was I didn't get that till I came to my faith in Christ. When I when I read the verse, you are to forgive as you have been forgiven. When you accept Christ's Christ's grace, what he did on the cross, it is your obligation to extend grace to his um his creation. It's hard.

SPEAKER_03 16:38

For they know not what they do. That's it. They don't know what they're doing, and it's just like I don't know what I'm doing or didn't know what I was doing. I can't believe it might be what I was doing, did I?

SPEAKER_00 16:47

I've never met one human being that hasn't had to have grace extended to them. Not one. No, never. And my father was one of them. I mean, he got extended grace all the time by my mother.

SPEAKER_03 16:57

I had I had the greatest situation happen with my mom where I was the opposite. I was tired. I was really said that she was a bad mom and she never said I love you and all of this. So I spent a few years never speaking to her. I didn't speak to her. I said, I'm clean. If I died tomorrow, she died, I'm clean, because I thought I made my amends and stuff like that. But amends is a living thing. It's not just, hey, I'm sorry, and then you move on and it goes with your same behavior again. So uh amazing thing that happened. Uh this is true, Grace. I was uh cleaning out the garage, and um, my wife at the time said, Oh, she's coming out to you know, she's gonna see they she never sees these two kids. She would see the kids from my other ex-wife who was accusing me of horrible things, like she took her side. And that's another reason I couldn't stand my mom. I was like, Why would you betray me like that? So I was so all these reasons, these justifications for not speaking for being angry and resentful. So I've cleaned out the garage and I found these CDs from my radio show, What's Bug and Barb? And I'm starting listening while I'm laughing. And I said, Come on in here, the kids come in, we're all laughing at Nana. And that was the moment where Grace came in and said radical acceptance, just being absolute acceptance of who she is. And I swear, from that day forward, she came out, I she visited this California, went to the farmer's market, she was as funny as ever. Her uh her husband was going blind, he was blind, but but he's a he's a he like hoards food, like samples at the farmer's market, and she would lie to him, it would say samples, and she would go, because he's blind, she goes, It says no samples, Sydney. And she would cat paw us going, like, don't tell him. It says no samples. He's there with his hands out, like Oliver. You know, please I want some more. And she's and so already I'm and I got and I also got this. What a gift she gave me. Literally, my entire life is about laughter, and she gave me the funny. My father certainly didn't. She gave me the funny. So I am so grateful to her, and I've never spent one moment since that time in resentment. Not one moment. She'll start with me.

SPEAKER_00 19:04

Isn't that a great place to be though?

SPEAKER_03 19:06

Oh, it's unbelievable. I have the best relationship, but I'll call her in an hour. I'm gonna call her. And we have a great time. Yeah, she still gets on me for stuff, you know. It still gets a matter of fact, I haven't dated. She's a how come you don't have a girlfriend? You're not turning funny now, are you? Turning funny. But she's just she's just who she is, and I'm not gonna change that. And I'm telling anybody watching this, if you get into acceptance of that person and realize you have you have your own character defects, you got your own flaws. Work on yourself only, and that's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna work, including lack of acceptance, including victimhood or whatever it was I was blaming her, doesn't happen anymore. And I want to do it with more people. That's the thing. I think I practice these principles in all my affairs with everyone, not only my mom. But what a blessing that I have my mom for these years where she I can just enjoy her and have fun.

SPEAKER_00 20:01

Well, what a blessing that she's still around for you to get to that.

SPEAKER_03 20:04

I know, I know. And by the way, she's she'll kill me if I ever set her age, but you would not believe she looks young. I take her to my parties when I have my high school parties. She is. No, you're woman. No, did I say but she still has that youthfulness and that health. She was always healthy. She had to be. Same here, because I'm the sole breadwinner, you know, for my family. I have four kids. I have to always work, work, work. So I can't even get sick. I came in through. So it's a mentality. She passed that mentality on to me, too. So I have great health, like she does. She visited California and um she just gets on me all the time. And she could literally say, You're the worst person ever, and nothing would bother me. It doesn't bother me at all. Used to be she put my, she presses my buttons because she installed them. I said, All this thing. Nope, not anymore. So she comes out and we I took her to this to see Music Man on the big screen from 1962 at the Grauman's Chinese Theater. So we get there and she goes, I remember the days you're a big Hollywood star, and you'd send a limo for your mother, but now here I'm standing in line. I have to stand in line. I used to be VIP. And she goes, but then she goes, It's okay. I'm with my grandchildren. Little kids and we're in line. She goes, A line? Your mother, I'm standing here. Your mother's standing here in the sunlight. Normally back in the day, when you were somebody in Hollywood, you would have an escort for your mother. And we get the tickets, we get inside.

SPEAKER_00 21:32

It's a bigger fall for the people that were around you than it is for you.

SPEAKER_03 21:36

Oh, yeah. I'm not even noticing it. Yeah. And the tickets are way up there and really high up. She goes, Oh, this is very nice. That I'm here with, I'm here. Wow, we're up awful high. I remember the days you'd have me in the seventh row in the middle. It's okay. I'm with my grandchildren. So we watched the movie. Shirley Jones was in the movie. My mom's Exact age. And she looks so gorgeous on the giant, the biggest screen in the world, by the way. Grauman's Chinese Theater. There she, I was crying. It was such a beautiful movie, reminded me of the past. And then after the movie, we go downstairs, we're in the basement. We're walking to my car. And she says, Oh, I know. Shirley Jones walks on stage and she goes, Oh my God, there's Shirley Jones. I think I'm so far away. I need binoculars. It's okay. I'm with my grandchildren. So we go underneath. And she goes, She's walking slow to the car. I go, come on, let's get in the car. Is this as close as I'm gonna get to Shirley Jones? I remember the days you knew everybody, Craig. You'd introduce me to the big stars. I don't know what happened to you. It's okay. I'm with my grandchildren. So I get a call. I go, follow me. She goes, What are you doing? I'm ready to go home. And she's followed me in the parking lot with my two kids. And she goes, Oh, but I'm on a wild goose chase, Craig. Come on. I'm older now. I can't stand for this. And we go into the hotel, open up the door, and there's Shirley Jones waiting for her. Oh, how cool is it? Wait, my mom flipped out. She starts shaking. She goes, Hi, Shirley. I don't want to be a fangirl, but you're beautiful. That's the best. Oh my gosh. So she got close to Shirley Jones. I delivered one more time. It's so cool. Yeah, yeah. I just, I just I just love my mom. I mean, I've spent years not, you know, basically in resentment uh over what I think that she didn't do. She didn't act motherly. And the whole idea of motherly, fatherly, you know, what is that anyway? It's some concept. It's a concept. It's not real. They're real, they're real people.

SPEAKER_00 23:44

The understanding that I think comes with wisdom and age gradually, but it comes with wisdom and age, is when you do your own work, you realize the flaws that you carry.

SPEAKER_01 23:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 23:55

You know, and I've and we're going through some stuff within our family right now. Our two boys haven't spoken in six years together. And um over stuff that happened, obviously, six years ago between between the two wives. Now, I guarantee you, you could not, they could not either one of them remember what was exactly said. Exactly right. The feelings were hurt, and pride got kicked in, and um we've realized that Tammy and I, all we have is prayer, and all we have is uh we're gonna try to get them together June 22nd at the house. Tammy's 65th birthday, my 70th, and uh we're just gonna have a nice Just invite them both. Well, they are there are invited, and both of them have said one of them won't go. Well, one of them both of them have said they'll come and both of them said they'll be civil. And I said uh well, I hope so. I mean, and what I really hope is that they remember it's so interesting to me. Um I I I was watching something about um I think it was our sermon on Sunday with the with the with um remembering um uh and how we tend to forget and we latch on to oh it was during uh communion to remember what uh Jesus said before he before they did communion, remember this um uh moment, remember this. Yeah. So that's what communion is. You go back to a time where you remember of connecting with um with with the Lord and Savior. But anyway, um we tend to it uh the the the pastor used as an example the golf golf, so it resonated with me because I we tend to remember our bad shots. We tend to remember uh we tend to connect ourselves to the score, our self-worth, to the score, our uh and people go, How did you play? All you do talk about are the bad shots, the ones you missed, you know, because you again you don't want to come off as bragging. Yeah, you know that stays with us. It is, it's uh it's a false sense of humility. But um uh I I try to get my kids, I just want them to remember how close they were growing up. Yeah, I didn't speak to my brother for decade, over a decade, because of um he he was just wrapped up in uh crack cocaine and um well that's a different circumstance. Well it was, it was very different, and um you know he broke my nose twice in fights.

SPEAKER_03 26:11

I I I I I think silent treatment is one of the most evil things. I think it's evil. Oh, I don't, yeah. I I I think it's a horrible thing to do to people.

SPEAKER_00 26:22

Yeah, I couldn't, I would I wouldn't put up what I would check.

SPEAKER_03 26:25

Especially if you don't express it. Yeah, the reason. I have a bunch of silent treatment that I'm dealing with. Really? My oldest son, my second son who's adopted, and um my ex-wife, my current ex-wife, not as much, but but I don't really care to speak to her after I've discovered all these horrible things. She joined a cult. I say you marry your mother, I marry my father.

SPEAKER_00 26:48

Well, we do marry we uh the psychologists say we marry one of our parents.

SPEAKER_03 26:51

Yeah, well, yeah, I think you're the woman, but usually one we have the most issues with. Well, yeah, I mean, I I don't know how yeah, I guess she is like him. She got into multi-level marketing and she's a thief and all that kind of stuff. So, you know, he was a con artist. She's a con artist, she doesn't have a heron, but her her guru has a bunch of women. They say, get my sovereign freedom, get out of your golden. She called it a golden cage. I'd like to be in a golden cage for like a day. I would love to be taking care for a day. It's impossible for me to do it, but I'd I'd like to try. One one day just I'm supposed to take care of you completely, give you a little money, you know. But I'm always uh I'm too codependent. But I have a bunch of people that don't speak to me. My sister doesn't speak to me, and she's sober. And I said to her, I I write to I write to these people. Is this over politics? No. No, because we have we have uh I've had that happen. We have people in our life that uh uh that uh Oh yeah, yeah, but I have the reverse story on that with my friend Anthony that I grew up with. I was a liberal and he was you know conservative, and I was like, I'm done with him. And I was happy to be done with him. And then when I got stopped, we are so happy that we love one another. We express it all the time. It's one of my most grateful moments in my life, is our repairing of that relationship. It was over nothing. We had to talk about what it was about. I said, I don't remember that. Right. It's always something like I don't remember saying that to you. And I, you know, I got to say, I'm sorry. And now we have a great relationship. It's wonderful to repair the silent treatment people, my opinion, they're afraid of the truth. If they know that you know the truth, and the truth which defies their narrative and their story that they're telling other people, like my sister's probably telling her sponsor all these things about me, but I don't get to go, hey, that's not true.

SPEAKER_00 28:32

Well, I know a writer here in Nashville, her sister would go to go to uh these uh survivors of um uh molestation groups. She was never molested. Yeah, she just tells the story, and they were eating dinner one night, and then one of the siblings said, Will you stop it? Stop it. You were never she goes, they don't know that. Yeah, she just felt uh special, yeah. She got treated differently. I mean, and again, I'm not belittling legit, but there's a lot of this victimhood going on.

SPEAKER_03 29:11

And when they remain a victim from it, I told you I was I was kidnapped by a pedophile.

SPEAKER_00 29:15

Because you know the truth.

SPEAKER_03 29:16

I would have the right to have resentment towards the guy that did that. I have zero. He does not hold the keys to my prison. He's not gonna but her, I don't know even what she's making up. My son, same thing. I don't know what he's making up. I don't know what they're all making up, what their narrative is, but it's mean and evil. Like my sister, her son got married and invited my son that doesn't speak to me, but didn't invite me. You know, like that kind of and she's sober. So I I wrote to her, I said, Do you know resentments are the number one cause of drinking? And early death. And and you, yeah, and you resent me like this to the point where you give silent treatment and won't explain it to tell me what I did. Let me let me know so I can make apologize or whatever I do and make amends. No, will not tell me. Silent treatment has never, she does not know her niece. She met her once when she was a baby, and that's it. She doesn't even know that doesn't send them a card or anything. And then a lot of those people that follow that pattern, they have to find strangers to affirm them. That's what they do. But the one thing I have to realize, and I do have to pray for them, is they have a problem. Right. They narcissism is is huge. I heard a new thing today is a uh it's called the tri something, is like you got Machiavellian, you got narcissism, and you've and you've got they're like dark dark triad. That's what it is, a dark triad. When you get that triad, that darkness, and you're it's like Anakin Skywalker, and people are possessed. Like, remember Anakin Skywalker and Star Wars? No, I never watched Star Wars. No, he gets possessed by the dark side, literally gets possessed. He's a sweet kid with all this potential. I mean, he's a Jedi, and the dark side took him over, he became Darth Vader. He's the scariest guy you've ever seen. I was frightened of the guy, but the guy was like this this kid. He realized when you see something like that, that people can get possessed. The Jezebel spirit takes them over. And the only solution is prayer. It's not gonna be by the way, I've never written a note to any of them and press enter and it comes back. I never thought of it that way, Craig. Right. It never happens. I always think I'm logical. I send them photos all the time, by the way.

SPEAKER_00 31:28

This is the what your life is, you know, because we have a guy at uh guy in our small group. We do small group on Tuesday uh from church, and his daughter hasn't spoken to him since 2016. Um we pray every every Tuesday, we pray for them. And we had an issue with our youngest son and his wife, and it was one of those where she didn't speak to us. And I told my son, I said, you know, I've I've upset a lot of people, I've I've made a lot of people angry in my life, but I've always known why. You know, so I could make amends, I could say I'm sorry. Yeah. I said, I would say I'm sorry if I knew what it was. Your wife is a mystery to me. I mean, we really have done everything we could to bring her into the family, make her part of this family. And it was very funny one night we were praying at dinner with the grandkids, and we prayed for we always prayed for uh for them, Jenny and Ryan. Yeah. And uh, you know, that that God would, you know, cover them and uh keep them pe at peace and whatever. And my granddaughter goes, even mommy. So you imagine what they say about us when when when we're in front of the kids when we're not around.

SPEAKER_01 32:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 32:32

I've never held a grudge with her. I uh so all we did was let go and we prayed every Tuesday for a year and a half, and out of nowhere, October last year, my son calls me and says, uh, we'd like to spend Thanksgiving with you. Holy cow. Yeah. I mean, we we had already adopted another family. We we the year before we went first time in our life, we went to somebody else's house for Thanksgiving. You never know when it's gonna happen. You don't, you know, and and uh and then Christmas, we we had Thanksgiving, we had a great time. Uh and he calls us first week in December, he says that all right if we spend Christmas with you, son. You're welcome here anytime you want. Yeah You know, we love you guys. We've always loved you guys. We just, you know, we wanted to give you your space, we wanted to let you uh let you know that uh but it was a mystery, an absolute mystery. Um now the one up in Montana, it's all politics. It's all politics. I I'm amazed.

SPEAKER_03 33:28

I I want to bring back the days you went into a voting booth and no one knew who you voted for.

SPEAKER_00 33:33

Well, that was I I love that.

SPEAKER_03 33:35

I think.

SPEAKER_00 33:37

I said, look, I don't do politics because I don't, you know, nobody cares what I think. But I I I lived in a day when you'd vote on Tuesday, golf on Wednesday, and some guy go, Who'd you vote for? I go, so and so. I voted for the other guy. Oh, it's your shot. That was it. That's it. That was it. It's unbelievable.

SPEAKER_03 33:54

How divided we are right now. I've never seen anything like it. And that that's why I'm bringing the only thing I can bring is laughter. That's it. And I bring that to these Facebook people are arguing, they're angry, they're spitting back and forth. And I say, all you have power over, you don't have power over who's elected. You only have power over yourself and your happiness.

SPEAKER_05 34:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 34:16

And I I just can't even believe how people are so teeming with resentment and anger and blame. It's the blame and victimhood.

SPEAKER_00 34:24

This is taking over at RSS. I had to keep bringing up my book. Yeah. But I wrote I'm gonna plug it in. Are we there yet? Um Soon to be a television show. Um I wrote about in the 90s. Yeah. Uh I was I was doing a I was speaking in San Francisco at a at an AA thing. Oh, I mentioned it again. I it's so funny to me. I get hammered online for mentioning AA on my podcast, you know, at the level of press, radio, and films. You notice I have not mentioned it. Well, I will say this, but I know because you're a purist. But I but but it cracks me up to the thing because I said, What should I say then? 12-step group. So if I mention I'm an alcoholic and I'm in a 12-step group, you think anybody would put those two together? So anyway, uh I'm in there. Michael Pritchard, remember Michael Pritchard? Yeah, just this big lovable, huge, humongous guy, right? So anyway, we're backstage getting ready to speak, and I tell him, I said, I've been sober now five or six years, and I said, I've never been more miserable in my life. He goes, How much news do you watch? Yep. And I said, uh, not much, six, seven hours a day. I mean, I'm not kidding you. It was all headline news. There wasn't even a Fox then. And he said, I'll tell you, he told me a story that uh, and I may have told this on the podcast, so uh the nine of you who watch this thing, you know, you you can send me so you're self-deprecating.

SPEAKER_03 35:42

That's what I'm saying.

SPEAKER_00 35:43

So anyway, yeah. Anyway, he says, I'm in South America. I'm in South America. Yeah. And I'm a backslidden Catholic. And uh I hear um the Pope is in town. Who don't want to see the Pope? So I go to the uh fairground, wherever he was at. And at one point the Pope says, Let's pray. Quarter of a million people on their knees praying. And he tells me, Michael tells me, it really is one of the most profound moments of my life. Something washed over me. I go back to my room that night, CNN covered the 14 or 15 protesters that were calling, and I realized the camera's that big around, and it's whatever the news director and you know, my line was always if you got a paradigm that's if it bleeds, it leads. What could what good could come out of it?

SPEAKER_01 36:27

What good could come out of it?

SPEAKER_00 36:28

So anyway, um he said, I'll tell you what, man, just shut the stuff off, you know. And I realized a therapist told me this because I said, I don't understand. Why I'm so angry, whatever, you know. And she said we tend to look outside of ourselves for the way we feel inside of ourselves to to validate. Anger is not a normal uh state of mind. Resentment. Uh God didn't design us to be angry and resentful. We're born love, light, and laughter. So if we're that way, there has to be a reason. So now we look outside of ourselves externally to validate the internal. Politics is perfect.

SPEAKER_03 37:10

So people come to social media is perfect.

SPEAKER_00 37:12

Well, but people come to you and they look at your life and they go, You got this job you love. I mean, you check the boxes. I got the job I love, I got the wife that's beautiful, she loves me. Yeah, um, I got the kids that are healthy, I got grandkids, I got all this stuff. Why are you so miserable? Them. That's exactly right. If it wasn't for them, if it wasn't for him or her or whatever, I would be I would be in your.

SPEAKER_03 37:34

The news companies literally choose what they need you to watch, and they get you in fear, and then the drug company sponsors the news that handles the anxiety they just gave you. That's the cycle. They give you the anxiety. Oh, there's an anxiety pill. I feel terrible. One of the first things I do when I conduct these guided laffitations is I say, get off the news. That's your big tip. Yeah, the news will serve no good purpose. Uh I had a thing, I went to Zion Healing Center. It's what do you say to people who go, I want to be informed? That's what my mom says. She goes, How are you supposed to know? You're only knowing what they want you to know, and how has it ever served a purpose for you? Do you tell me one single time that a news thing, a news item, ever did anything to uplift your life or do something different with your life? And by the way, if you need to know there's a war going on, you're gonna hear it anyway. You're gonna hear it anyway. It's gonna be.

SPEAKER_00 38:23

And then again, what can I do about it? Exactly.

SPEAKER_03 38:25

The important war bar the important stuff is gonna get there. And by the way, the pandemic, we all saw what happened there. We got trapped with the news and they told us lies. They absolutely lied to us, and we became idiots driving alone with a mask on. Remember those geniuses about the nose sticking out of the mask? It's like putting a condom on your testicles. What in the world happened to us? We became completely just allowing them to dictate our.

SPEAKER_00 38:50

Tammy crocheted me a mask so I could push my almonds through it.

SPEAKER_03 38:54

So I went to Zion Healing Center. Um, that's one of the things I brought to them. It's mostly recovery, people in recovery. And this woman was brand new in recovery. And I say, I take them these exercises, these laffitations, and you just literally volunteer yourself to laugh. Do it with me. See, that's a passion. I've been doing it the whole show.

SPEAKER_00 39:15

You haven't said one funny thing to me.

SPEAKER_03 39:17

So that's funny. So it's voluntary laughter, and your body doesn't know the difference if it's real or fake, and then it becomes real anyway. So I say, say out loud what your issue is. And she says out loud her daughter, her daughter doesn't speak to it to her. And I can always feel God's presence. I don't know about you, when I'm present. And I'm thank God I'm not doing this to take myself away from that. And I proclaimed at that moment, I go, your daughter's gonna speak to you now, because she shifted her vibration and her frequency into this beautiful divineness. That's what she's putting out to the universe as opposed to fear, angst, worry, blame. And uh the next day I got a text. Hey, really? Next day their daughter contacted her. Next day. She goes, That chuckled, I'll show you on Instagram. She texted she text her and say, You laughing at me? I amuse you. She must have felt that she must have felt it, but that's how powerful God is. I believe that. And we have a pathway to God going through laughter. People don't talk about that as much as they I believe they should. It's all over the Bible. A merry heart doeth good. Yeah. I don't think laughter gets as much credit as it should. And everybody's serious when they go to church. There's no reason. That's what Pastor Rob, he's hilarious. He's always doing calm, he doesn't. Yeah, I mean, that it's time to celebrate. Yeah, I say, you know, the word ha is very spiritual. What do you say when you're celebrating? Hallelujah. Ha Hallelujah, baby. Haganda's. I like that too. So it's it's it's something that I believe we need to spread. That's my whole goal in life. It's all I care about in my life right now is I want to spread this joy, spread this laughter, and spread the pathway to get there. It's like a bullet train. You can go right to the Holy Spirit, just like that. Well, we're gonna do that. It's another form of prayer, by the way. It is. It's an active form of prayer because you're activating all of your body. I mean, I've done prayer and meditation before. I remember meditating a few weeks and my back hurts. You know what I mean? I don't like this. My back, you know. If you're laughing, not thinking about anything, you're not in any pain. By the way, you're not in any physical pain.

SPEAKER_00 41:16

But let me ask you this. Do you watch comedy much? Um. See, I never did for 20 years. I never watched it.

SPEAKER_03 41:21

Oh, well, I take it back. Stand-up comedy, once in a while, see, oh, this is a popular person. I might might check it. I actually watched the Kevin Hart Roast, not my jam.

SPEAKER_00 41:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 41:33

No, it's just the attacking people, and it's just really good. I watched, I just I almost do it as a fascination. And I also know I was very popular one time. I did very well in comedian of the year American Comedy Awards. By the way, it was the loneliest night of my life. Really? The loneliest night. It was an ABC. Where was your wife? I I wasn't what was American. No, I was so lonely. I had I I won this. It was the the biggest award. Seinfeld won before it owned the generous Jeff Fox where you're I thought, I'm gonna get a show about a gay red deck, and a show about nothing. You know, I'm gonna I'm gonna make it. This is how you're gonna make it an ABC, Lily Tomlin, presents it to me with Roseanne. And that even backstage, instantly, my old friend Rosie O'Donnell like like kind of dissed me. Nobody's no comedians walking up the other way and celebrating you. It's the opposite. They resent you. Now you have a target on your back, and I felt it right away. Oh yeah, I got to be I'm the I'm the new Jeff Dunham, carrot top. I'm the joke, the you know, the butt of the joke. He doesn't deserve that because comics, you know, it's a low vibration community a lot of times. And I walked into the comedy store with my trophy, and whoa, they just tore me apart. And I never felt so lonely. I didn't know where to go. I had this free limousine. I'm sorry, man. We got a limo. They gave me a limo, of course. I'm I'm like, well, here I am, I'm a tuxedo. Oh, that's so funny. Nobody, nobody to hang out with because nobody can really feel for you. They're not gonna really have that, you know, especially comics. Like at that time, comics weren't as didn't that weren't as close, also.

SPEAKER_00 43:03

Well, it's trying to celebrate you. It's funny you say that. I've I've always wanted to get in a position I'm in now where I could draw an audience. Never been there my entire career. So I finally started to work theaters, and I've always had this image of what working inside a theater would be like. Well, one night I'm sitting in the dressing room waiting to go on. It's just me and my little bowl of fruit. And you know, and I took a film and I go, Me and my entourage. Yeah. You know? Yeah. I said, This is what I've been waiting for. Yeah. Got in the car after the show. I got in the car and I said, Me and my entourage are going to dinner now. Yeah. Nobody's there. And it it was it's funny because I I had just started back up with therapy, and one of the reasons he says, Why are you here? I said, Well, there's a couple of reasons, but one of them is I'm lonely. Yeah. You know, um, I said, I have all this here in Nashville that feeds feeds me enough to. Go out on the road for five or six days and be alone. But I don't think people understand. And again, I'm not complaining. I I believe me, I love what I do. You love what you do. You wouldn't do it. You don't need to do it. But but you you I love that hour, hour and a half. That's why you do an hour and a half. That's why I do an hour and fifty. Because you're in your glory. I just love it. I love meeting the people afterwards. I just love shaking their hands, taking pictures with them.

SPEAKER_03 44:28

It's a connection that is like no other. I had a moment in uh actually Pittsburgh um a year ago and also one the you the week before in Philadelphia. Two different theaters. They were theaters. Or did you say theater? She's funny. You should edit that out. If I was booking a theater, I wouldn't book them. It's just if he called and said, I want to work your theater, I would just book it. Really? Because she makes fun of it all the time. The way you pronounce that, I would say you're not coming into my venue. It's a theater? It's theater, right?

SPEAKER_00 44:59

Roof. It's roof. I make fun of his Chicago accent. Yeah, that was like uh I I'm sure you're a fan of the uh Peter Sellers um Pink Panther.

SPEAKER_03 45:11

I like Peter Sellers, but I was more being there. Well, I love one of the most amazing. I love the uh you ever see being there? Oh, it's a classic. I was not that big of a Pink Panther.

SPEAKER_00 45:23

Well, I I love the scene where he was a Minky. And the guy goes, Minky. Yeah, Minky. And the guy goes, Oh, monkey. He goes, So they said you didn't.

SPEAKER_03 45:35

Yeah. Oh, you have a minky. I do remember that one. Being there was such a classic. I turned my kids on to classic movies. And I and when they like it, my I have a Monty Python. When they with the uh with the coconut shells. My kids, my kids, I was so surprised that they were that sophisticated. 12-year-old and 16-year-old. But the one I couldn't believe he liked was Shawshank Redemption. He turned me because that's a great movie, though. I could do Morgan Freeman, you ready? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 46:07

In 1966, and a Dufrein escaped Shawshank prison. All I found was a set of butter prison clothes, a bar of soap, and an old rock hammer walling down to the nub. And uh and uh that's great.

SPEAKER_03 46:25

My son. I do some impressions. I used to do only impressions.

SPEAKER_00 46:29

I used to tell the story about my uh couldn't wait till my kids are of age to turn them on to Monty Python. So my oldest comes in, we're sitting there laughing, you know, howling. And then my youngest was four years behind. So we finally get to sit down, the three of us, and in the middle of the most classic scene in a Monty Python movie, my youngest kid goes, flesh wound. His alarm came off. And I said, Go to bed. You're lucky you look like me.

SPEAKER_03 46:56

Just the flesh wound. Yeah. One of the things I do when I do these laugh baths or guided laffitation is I actually say to them, because they say, Well, you're a comedian, you can be funny. I go, anyone can be funny. You know how they can be funny? Watch how easy it is. Name a funny movie and a quote from the movie. The whole place shifts. If one person goes, planes change automobiles, those aren't pillows, right? See? Right. Automatic laugh. That's all you got to do is quote the movie. So I have people realize I bring out people's sense of humor. I call it the seventh sense, which we don't work because our seventh sense is a sense of humor. And people do not work on their sense of humor. We taste and smell and everything else. I said, Why don't you develop that more? And this is the way to do it. I said, So next time you all come in here from one of these laugh baths or whatever we're doing, bring your funny movies and your quotes. And it's amazing. The whole place. I remember that. Because you're bringing back a great memory. It's like a meme. You're bringing back a memory for people when they watch that movie the first time. You mentioned sleepers. I remember blazing saddles of the jerk. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_00 47:56

Oh, the jerk was like 62-minute sketches. I was born a poor black child. My favorite one was with he hates cats.

SPEAKER_03 48:09

You see how we laugh just at the quotes. Yeah. And that's that's the thing is you can be funny. Just talk about something that makes you laugh and makes other people, it's a it's a contagious thing. You're setting a new energy in the room without bringing up who you voted for or who you're mad at or what or who you fear. They're gonna tell you who to fear. It's a different enemy every day.

SPEAKER_00 48:31

Yeah, fear is uh false evidence appearing real. I think it's 2 Timothy 1 7. God did not give us the spirit of fear, but the power of love and a sound mind. Exactly. But you can't have the love without the sound mind. You need you need to be able to uh separate fear from uh the rest of it. You have to and that that goes into what Aristotle said an unexamined life is not worth living if you're not going to take the time to step back, take a look at it, and self-examine. That's the thing that I become aware of more than anything, is just the lack of awareness so many human beings have.

SPEAKER_03 49:04

Well, we're caught up. We're just it's an addiction.

SPEAKER_00 49:06

It's literally and then if you get caught into the bubble where you got thousands and millions of followers or whatever, uh you know, again.

SPEAKER_03 49:13

And the algorithm feeds you, feeds you, feeds you, feeds you, and then you become mindless. I'm about presence, consciousness, mindfulness, and I love being there. It's a little box game of golf.

SPEAKER_00 49:26

I mean, really, just being on a golf course with three guys now. I used to get wrapped up in in scores and numbers and things. Yeah. And now you know this morning I played nine with the pro out there. I'm going, by the way, I gotta uh um uh he's getting inducted into the Tennessee Golf Hall of Fame tonight, so he was kind enough to invite me. I want to. But I was playing with him and his son. His son is on the Corn Ferry uh tour, and um Bob used to play the uh the regular tour, uh the PGA tour. Two pars from winning the um Greater Greensboro Open and really good players. But watching the father and son interact, it was hysterical because his kid is just I mean, he's pounding at 320, and Bob Bob can't hit it out of his shadow anymore.

SPEAKER_01 50:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 50:07

He goes, I know Bob goes, look at that, dead straight. He goes, You don't put enough spin on it to curve it. So watching these two guys trash talk, I said to Tammy when I got home, I said, you know, I I really wish my sons had taken up the game just for that four or five hours where you just get out, you forget about everything, and you just cut up and trash talk. And yeah, but uh I'm gonna hopefully spend the rest of my days at least on the golf course with people I love and uh and and enjoy the outdoors, enjoy everything else.

SPEAKER_03 50:44

It's very zen. If you let if you let itself if you surrender, yeah, yeah. I call ego, I have an acronym, uh, evading growth opportunity. You're always every time you're not going to God and you're going to ego, what it looks like, what it sounds like, your image, you're done. You're done. You're evading your own chance to learn something, to grow, and to change and evolve. You know, we're here to evolve. One of my evolutions is pure on have to laugh more. We have to have more of it. Yeah. You know, that's why I just that is so I was telling you about it.

SPEAKER_00 51:20

I I never watched comedy, but that's where we started the conversation. And I I I started watching comedy during stand-ups or comedy. Stand-ups.

SPEAKER_03 51:27

You did?

SPEAKER_00 51:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 51:28

Oh, but I forgot to tell you, the day I asked you to, you know, I got in touch with, I swear this is true. It's crazy how the algorithm works. Yeah. Boom, you popped up on my TV automatically. It's special, a dry bar. I couldn't believe it. There you were. I couldn't believe it. Oh my god. I still wouldn't watch, but still. I know.

SPEAKER_00 51:47

I know. That was my dad. My dad was so funny. Near the end of his life. He goes, I was surfing around. I saw you on TV the other night. I go, Yeah. And uh, was it good? He goes, I didn't watch.

SPEAKER_03 51:58

There's a reason. And he was dead serious. Um, your dad's different. There's a reason I don't watch. And as a matter of fact, it was proven by watching you. I don't want to be influenced. And you and I are around the same age, right? Same, a lot of the same, same perspective, same frustrated with society. And I'm going, oh, he's he's going. I turned it off. I don't want to ever think that I came up with a joke that I'm gonna do that. That's that's kind of why I think somebody's really different though. Like last night I knew they were all gonna be different because of this Kevin Hart thing, because it's nasty. It's really like raw and just out shocking each other. So shock. That's not my thing. I was gonna tell you at the time on stage in Pittsburgh and one time in Philadelphia at these two theaters, it was it for me. You know what it was? Did I say theater? Theater. Oh my gosh. Did I really say I had a little combination? Theaters. I don't mean to mess your hat up. I was in that, I was in the I have never experienced this in tens of thousands of shows, probably, right? Yeah. I felt the most bliss I've ever had on stage where I wasn't thinking about the next joke and I wasn't thinking about the one I just told. True in the now. Isn't that a great place? It was only twice. Really? My whole career. My whole career. I'm not, I'm talking, I'm look, I've like wonderful moments, one after the last night. Yeah, I mean, just a roll, roll, roll. But it's still like you know, this was like I was able to take it in and thank God. I was able to really go, wow, thank you. And that was that was to me really what it was all about. All the career of, oh, I'm gonna get attention, I'm gonna get the waitress's number, oh, the people that didn't go to the prom with me will be upset, you know, because I'm I'm famous and everything else. And all those thoughts that I had that drove me uh was all gone. And I just was in that moment of absolute beautiful tranquility. And I've never had that before because it's like, what's next? And I'm firing away and I'm doing my hour and a half, and there's a timer, and that all that stuff is on your mind. And I just I said, take this in. This is why you did this, this is why you entered this business. This is why you make like making people laugh. And I was just feeling their beautiful energy coming back to me. And it's exchanged. It's an exchange of energy that's so beautiful, indescribable for anybody that hasn't been on a stage, especially the level that we became. And by the way, the awards mean nothing. You know what my best award is? Yeah, I won Emmy Awards, and you're talking about the stuff I've done and all that. I found out those are the loneliest times. I was drunk when I won the Emmys. I fell off the stage, literally fell off the stage drunk. And do you know the best Emmy, a best award I have is I have a trophy. I won the horse's ass award at my ex-wife's family reunion. It's a horse's ass. A gold bronze horse's ass. It's just a half a horse's just the ass. And I won that at that reunion. And that is when the fires happened last last two years ago or last year. It's the only thing I got at my Tim McCarver ball. Those are the two things that I got because they were irreplaceable. I can never win the horse's ass award at her reunion again because I won't be invited to the reunion. But to me, that's so symbolic of the stuff, the other stuff is from outside. That's the outside world of the stuff. So you lose your house start on the fire. What's that? No, no, I evacuated. And here's something I did that was very you were talking about take that, you were talking you didn't say pause, but I call it spirituus, a Latin word for breath. I take that breath. And it's like it's like the prayer, it's like the contrary action prayer, you know. You bring anyway. I took a breath and I invited my ex-wife to the beach house where I evacuated. She lived with us for a few days. Because that's what God told me to do. Get over all the stuff that she did to me. She stole a million dollars, cheat, lie, steal, all this stuff. This is the one that's with the guru. Horrible, yeah, horrible stuff. I mean, I gave everything to that marriage. I was the breadwinner. One time we're at the mall, she goes, I lost my purse. I said, I'm right here. So that was another moment when I made that call to her. It was a here's a moment like God's testing you. Fire, your place might go up. And I grabbed the trophy of the horse's ass. I grabbed the ball. That's so funny. I threw that stuff in the backseat, and I had this beach house.

SPEAKER_00 56:24

So you left the Emmy Award, you left the airport. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 56:27

I left the Emmy Awards. I left the article about me in the New York Times, 10 photographs.

SPEAKER_00 56:32

By the way, I think your ex should be honored that of the all of the stuff that that horse's ass reward.

SPEAKER_03 56:39

That was the other extent I had another ex, maybe worse. So yeah, I draw it in. I draw it in. I always have to look. And I've actually had a conversation with myself today or yesterday. Is this karma? You know, these repeats of patterns. I'm a rescuer too. I've always tried to rescue my mom. I wrote letters to Paul Lynn. Remember him? I thought he would be with my mom. I thought we'd be the first father and son team on Hollywood Squares. He would adopt me. Take it, son. It's a sports question. This is my dreams. And what's weird about this is also how God works. I could not wait to be on Hollywood Squares. I live for that show. And Paul Lynn, I wanted to be my father. I ended up on 75 episodes.

SPEAKER_05 57:21

Really?

SPEAKER_03 57:21

Yeah. The only problem is I was I'm not a known celebrity. I was always Craig Shoemaker to block. To block. Never just choose me first.

SPEAKER_00 57:32

It's funny too, because uh Robin Williams was uh uh uh it's interesting to me that a lot of impressionists um uh have you similar upbringings to um to yourself.

SPEAKER_03 57:45

He was our only child, right? Yeah, he was.

SPEAKER_00 57:47

And he used to I read where he used to be holed up, it was really wealthy, lived in a very West Bloomfield, Michigan, where the auto execs lived and stuff. So he created all these imaginary things. Imagine characters, yeah. And it's interesting that you um you know um I did the same thing.

SPEAKER_03 58:05

Yeah, but it was literally to deal with pain. I remember in fourth grade. So you make kids laugh. Kept you from getting beat up. Same here. This is when it happened. This was my big moment where God literally spoke to me, maybe for the first time that I could hear it. I I was beaten up, I was moved to a new neighborhood, and it hated me. It was a kind of a wealthier neighborhood, and so the rich kids they'll attack you if you have I had all hand-me-down clothes. Right. I like a pair of pants, and I tore the pants. I learned how to sew. That's the thing is when you when you're poor, you gotta work things and be resilient. You gotta learn stuff. I had to learn how to sew. So I'm on the bathroom floor of fourth grade, 10 years old, sewing my pants, and a rich kid saw me. Oh, I've got humiliated. I had a little thimble, I'm sewing. And I went back in that room, ah, there he is, you know, the poor kid. And then weeks later, I told a story. Uh I made it into like a book. I used to make tape, I wouldn't read the book, I would just make up stories like a book. I make up a book. And I, but I did tell a real story about my mom beating me up. And I and I I I couldn't believe the response. I was I broke a vase and she beat me like really bad. And I'm watching, telling a story, and I'm watching all these people who hate me or paying attention to me, and they're laughing. It was magical. I'm going, oh my god, they're exaggerated. I go, I was a pinata, our Snickers bar popped out. They're laughing. Unbelievable feeling, that first feeling, like a hit. And the teacher, she goes, He's not gonna do this in my class. The next day, she she took blue yarn out of her desk and tied my hands behind my back like a hostage and put me in a supply closet for a whole day. Holy cow. Yeah, like a hostage. Had my wrists bound behind me at 10 years old. And I'm on that box. She goes, Don't you get off that box? I remember looking in the vent, I'd see her fat thighs come over their plaster, and I'd jump back on the box. You didn't get up and you didn't. It was always defiant. And that's the day God spoke to me. She says, You'll think about this, you'll never do it again. And God said, Yes, you will. Yes, you will. You're gonna spread this gift, you're gonna spread laughter throughout the world. And that was a true moment that the you know God speaks to us, Holy Spirit speaks to us, and that was the moment where it was undeniable. And she caused that by bringing pain to me, which I transformed and transmuted into great pleasure and into a career.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:26

It's pretty common that when God is ready to use someone, he'll break them first. Yeah, okay. Rush them first, put them through the fire, and then uh and then you come out of it, this beautiful butterfly. Sometimes I go, come on, God, another lesson. Really?

SPEAKER_03 1:00:41

Really, really she joined a cult. Really? She's in she's into uh she's into beaten and choking. She has a podcast about being beaten and choked for choked for sexual pleasure. But my kids could hear this podcast. Really? Really? That's what you're gonna do? And I try to confront her. She knows how to these narcissists or these people, they know how they can ignore you. Doesn't matter how logical you are, how you're trying to say we should be better for the kids. Nope. No, they'll double triple down. Right. And that's when I gotta go. Walk away. Let go. Let go, let God. That's it. That's what that the surrender has always been the greatest victory for me.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:20

Well, to me, the serenity prayer um is the one that keeps me in good steed with everything. Because uh I either can control it or I can't.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:30

Well, you can find me on Instagram. I'm locked at 57,000. I can't get another maybe after being on your show. I cannot get any more followers on that.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:42

576. You are? No, I'm talking about you'll get to 57,600. Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:48

Official Craig Shoemaker. And by the way, it's shoemaker, not shoemaker. People look at my name, you go, Shoemaker. I go, shoemaker, you shoemaker. You make shoes, you don't mock shoes unless they're crocs. Those you can mock. You know what the holes are for? So your self-esteem can slip out. So I have five pairs because I don't care anymore.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:06

Yeah, my grandson is. Uh we we buy them every time he visits, we buy him a pair.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:11

Well, yeah, write to me, slide in my DMs, tell me you've heard me on here. And if I have a fan page on Facebook, yeah, I've got a fan page on Facebook. That's that's got, I don't know, 20,000, 50,000, whatever. And then I've got my personal Facebook. That's the one I'm into the most. That's have you ever hired a social media person? Yeah, yeah. They're never gonna get it like I, you know what I mean? They're never gonna deliver. What I do is I hire an opener. Because you have and I have it someone open for me for like 10, 15 minutes. I put them in front of, I like to tell them this is the deal. Like they should charge me less because you're gonna be in front of A rooms, a audiences, a bookers, like the top people, you're now gonna expand your career. Look what it did for Dave Chappelle when he opened for him. He did okay. But uh but I'm Whitney Cummings used to tour with me and sell my merchandise. But if you put your time in working with a headliner, allow yourself to be mentored, get the ego out of it, and all that. I've and it's always women, by the way. I've really supported women in comedy, big time. There's the one that was opening for me in Nashville this week. It's I really want to do that for women because my mom was a single mom, and I really want to do that for them. But a lot of them resent, they get resentful, angry, they you know, they women they they stop. But it's Carolyn said that, not me, by the way.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:25

But did you hear the stat about pre marriage?

SPEAKER_03 1:03:28

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:28

Where the the women have a divorce. The women have the highest divorce rate of all. Yeah. And then the men are probably the longest longevity, and then the heterosexual are like right in the middle. Right. And someone said, What's the common denominator? It's women. One has two women, one has one woman, and one has no women.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:46

So I don't even get along with digital women. I have a navigational system. It's a female voice. I made one little wrong turn. I heard the eyes roll. Rerouting. That's great. Yeah, it's it's really uh I I would love some help with that if you could give me some help or you'd find me some help or but what you have is a library of of material.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:08

You have special views. That's what I brought in. I mean, uh they were putting out videos when I had a full head of hair. It was from from the early night. That's not good though, right?

SPEAKER_03 1:04:16

Because I had a group that I had a group that was doing that and I didn't like it. I want to do that. I want the new stuff.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:22

Well, you you know, but it's about driving uh eyeballs to uh uh making people laugh. Yeah, I guess and the old stuff makes people laugh. Oh, yeah. It's still relevant. Yeah, not doing political stuff.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:34

I never did current events. I always say keep it out. I took you know, I coach actually a lot. I do also expect people to get coaching as well. You know, athletes are coached, actors are coached, the egos and comedians don't want to be coached. I coach because I know what to share. I share my experience, strength, and hope. I'll tell you here's how I got there. Still headlining after decades. Yeah. Still why? I'm gonna give you the secrets, but no, you know, they they want to go something that's trending or whatever it is, or they're self-obsessed, they just don't get it. So I say, be of service to me a little bit. Help me out, and I will help you out. So a couple of them do the deal, but other ones they just they they go away with resentment, by the way. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:05:14

Go hit your website though, so they can get tickets.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:17

Craigshoemaker.com. Okay. Craigshoemaker.com, official maker show.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:22

Well, this won't be out by the time you're in Zanies.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:24

Yeah, I have a lot of dates coming up, but mostly I'm into you know what I want, I wish for people to come to my retreats. That's my new thing. I like retreats. Love you to come to the retreat, be a guest. The treats, retreats are all about laughter and joy, living in joy. I have one coming up in Sedona, I have one coming up in outside LA.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:42

Sedona, love Sedona. Yeah, it's I had a company hire me to speak on a mountain in Sedona. For 14 employees.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:49

This is a beautiful resort called Mago. It's 10 miles off the road. You have to go to Dirt Road. Oh, yeah. And it's there's two vortexes there, so you can really, really feel feel such a power. I'm going to do laffetation, chuckle chatter, drum circles, all these things to really shift our vibration in a positive way. This is what I want to do, by the way, instead of performing. I don't want to be the performer. I want to be the guide and guide people into this new realm of possibility, this new potency that you're going to release. I believe we're so potent, but we tamp it down by watching news, by getting caught in algorithms, by cutting caught in gossip, narratives that we're believing that aren't true, going with gurus and things like empowering people that should never be empowered. We got the one power, right? Right. So that's what I want to do is celebrate life, do these techniques that I've developed through the years, and I think that's why I'm here. Very cool, man. What is the website for that? CraigShoemaker.com and LaughterHeals.com. I own Laughter Heels for 20 years in honor of my friend Golds, who had the brain cancer. He finally passed away after 15 years, but to honor him, this is why I do this work. I go to hospitals, after care facilities, wounded warriors, I'll help all these people find laughter in their lives, and it makes everything better. Makes everything better.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:07

I hope I made a couple chuckles. This is great.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:15

I actually have already been thinking of people that come in, not necessarily comics. I've got some really good guests who actually live in Nashville. Oh. I'm friends with musicians.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:24

Oh, that would be wonderful.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:25

Anyway, thank you so much. Um reads uh a subscribe, please. Subscribe uh and um comment. Uh it moves the algorithms, even if you hate us. Um just write all your hateful stuff, um, and uh we'll we'll take it. Um ignore it, but we'll take it. Um and thank you, Hayden, our sound engineer here. Um he's new and Christian uh is coming back or no? Or yeah. Oh, Christian will be back. Okay, and then Carolyn, um the recovering Californian. Uh, you love her V videos, you know you do, and we love her. Uh uh and um her son's got the brand new uh Many Cooper.

unknown 1:08:07

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_00 1:08:08

So cool, man. Anyway, we'll see you until next time. God bless you guys. I'll be out on the road. Check the website, jeffalincomedy.com. Um, I'm coming to 110 different cities this year, so um, I'll be there. God bless you guys. Thank you.